Questions and Craziness

I've been playing a couple of passion shows: Jesus Christ Superstar and just tonight, Good Friday, a local production / local composer "Son of God, Son of Man".

After watching the JC, Superstar I had to go and read some of the new testament. I have many questions. The show was good, well produced and directed and the orchestra was also pretty good. It was kind of fun music to play. So my questtions are of course about mortality and the soul.

I had a rather interesting coincidental experience with my mother's watch. I don't mean to be jumping around here, but I think there are so many things in my brain that it is hard to separate them as separate events. Everything has a bearing on everything else.

The Good Sister and I were at the farm. I had a dream about mom. I've never dreamt about her since her death, and this was a nice dream: she was in the bed The Good Sister was sleeping in and I was talking to her from the bed I was sleeping in. I was actually sleeping in the bed where I was in the dream...very vivid. It was nice to see her. She was telling me about HER dream and we had a really nice visit.

The next day, as my good sister and I were picking out some new drapery for the farm living room, mom's watch stopped.

I don't suppose it would be all that remarkable that a watch stopped. After all, I've been wearing it since soon after she died, a year ago. The funny thing here is that the watch stopped when she died, started after a couple of days/ weeks ( I don't know..I was going to get a battery for it after I realized it had died, but then realized it was running again) and so I just started wearing it.

I had worn it every day I think since the day I realized it was running again. And then my good sister and I did that errand for the farm. There is more to this but in the course of that errand, the watch stopped. When I got home, looked for my other watch, I saw that that one had also stopped.... same time...

So my questions: mom? Did you just now decide to take off? Did you know that I was okay now that I'd decided with THE GOOD SISTER to change those curtains? I'm much better than I was a year ago; that is for sure. Still, too many coincidences...

and jesus christ superstar, and son of god son of man..
who was that Christ guy?

My Aunt's death

On the anniversary of mom's death, we went to see my Aunt. We actually went a day later because it was snowing so hard, we didn't dare drive over. When we saw her that day, I wondered if perhaps it wasn't the last time I would see her.

So my mom's generation is coming to an end. My Aunt died on Friday, a year and two months after mom. I can hardly believe that she is gone, but she was suffering for quite a while. Parkinson's disease took a heavy toll on her endurance and will.

Her children, my cousins, are all here. She waited for them to arrive before she was willing to leave, I guess. Like Dad with my good sister...

I saw them this morning. Everyone is fine; they are still in shock, tired, I think, but surrounded by activity of family, other cousins, and friends of my aunt. They will stay for a while to try to get her things taken care of, furniture sold, belongings distributed.

I expect the the older of the two sisters who are left will go within the next year. THe youngest is by far the youngest, but her heart will be broken by losing her sisters. She will be living for her children from then on. I feel very sorry for her.

And then this afternoon, after I left, I got a call from the evil sister to inform me of my aunt's death and let me know about the arrangements. I curtly told her that I'd just left there and I knew all about the arrangements. She is amazing. I wonder if she really thought I didn't know. I can't imagine how she thinks.

Funeral Tuesday. I will see everyone yet again, including the evil sister and the trailer trash sister-in-law. I will ignore them both. My aunt and her children will be what I will try to think about.

Here is my aunt's story